Positive Lease and Gratitude

I am sitting in the quiet lobby of a cancer clinic on a foggy, chilly Denver morning. I guess I mention it should be quiet. A woman is shouting on her cell phone in the annex above where I sit and is shouting about an argument she said had with someone in her life. This place is a hospital where people are fighting for their lives. It is serene. People come and go with chemo drips, oxygen masks, wheel chairs, and pale expressions. I am so full of gratitude this morning. I don't have to live with an oxygen mask, a chemo drip, a grim prognosis or a wheel chair. I get to wrap may arms around my daughter and have her tell me she holds me too tight.

I was in a coffee shop this morning and I am plagiarizing this, but won't soon forget it.
"Go home early and play with your kids."
"Technology is good, but people are better."
"Stir emotions."
"Run your feet. Not your mouth."
"Do the Hokey Pokey."
"Hold Hands, Not Grudges."
"Tell someone you love them."
"Pick up the check."
"Build communities, not empires."
"Dream Big, Act Bigger."
"Re-read your favorite book."

This comes from a coffee cup. Just a plain coffee cup that people toss in the trash every day, but when I listened to the woman above me in a hallway shouting to who seemed to be her arch enemy, I looked around and realized I am in a place this morning where people fight for their lives and I get to be grateful for mine.

Injuries

Okay so I am injured once again. Don't even get me started on how this happens twice in the span on 4 months. This is not about being "a victim" to the hobby or a victim in any regard. This is about the lack of ability to keep my head quiet and balanced without some form of exercise. The all-natural prozac in the form of sweat and pride.

I started out on an 11 mile run last Sunday. Mile 5 was met with a sore achilles. Now after 8 marathons, I have experienced soreness before so I am not about the respect it and stop. It is a minor discomfort. Well, I won't provide details, but I have a soleus that is swollen and tight and makes me cringe when trying to negotiate my stairs. This is swollen to the point that it is noticeable by my inspection and is about twice the size of the other leg. I am going to "go easy," but have to admit my head is a bit noisy; I am a titch ornery, and need to find the endorphins before Crazy finds me.

A day to remember

I cannot even begin to explain the pride I have for Izzy today. We left for what I thought would be a short jog to the running store to look for her first pair of running shoes. She explained that according to Ga and Pa, she wears a size 2 and 1/2. I assumed it would be a short excursion and we would be back in plenty of time to have a rest, after all, I think I had a whopping 3.5 hours of sleep last night, due to reasons that still remain a mystery - other than my wiring is faulty.

Okay, so we jogged up the huge hill around the horse pasture, watched the horse "use the potty," held hands while crossing the busy intersection, and jogged our way to "Salt Lake Running Company." To our chagrin, the store did not have what we wanted, "but come back in 2 weeks."

Izzy was determined our adventure was not ending there. We made our way to the grocery store, loaded up on water and headed West. Now I was thinking this was going to be one more block and then home. I mean, c'mon...I am tired. We made our way to 7-11 and she continued to tell me, "mom please do not tell me we are going home." Well I will spare you the play-by-play, but we ended up at a great cafe called "Food for Thought." After a great mint hot cocoa, awesome chocolate-covered strawberries, and coconut herbal tea, we were refreshed! To summarize, we jogged the streets of Draper and through the elementary school parking lot, dined on scrumptious sweets, visited the baby chicks, smelled the farms in the country, and made it home in time to soak our toes in the warm bath.

As Isabella was falling to sleep tonight, she reminded me the Kids Marathon at Thanksgiving Point was April 24th and she just had to get new running shoes in order to run this kids race. I cherish these times and hope I will always have this exquisite relationship with my little girl.

Insomnia

So I don't blog enough. I make excuses and then think "whatever would I write about today?" Well that is all going to change because I realized as I lay awake listening to the clocks tick that I can let the world know that I don't sleep. I just don't. I lost the ability to sleep when I was pregnant and have never found it again. I often panic in the early hours of the evening and think "How will I sleep tonight? How is that going to happen?" I mean sleep is such a basic physiological component to existence, yet it escapes me. It is something we all figure out how to do at the early age of, oh I don't know....birth, yet I simply cannot figure it out. On a good night, I will sleep without waking up 5 or 6 times. I find a solid night's rest about once a week. I try to express my frustration to some who tell me "Maybe you need something to help you sleep." Well that's just great. I have not slept for almost a decade. Do ya' think I may have tried "something" already? I do the math starting about midnight. "Okay if I fall asleep at this exact moment and sleep until 8, then I can make it through my Saturday and feel pretty good." Then 2am creeps up on me and the numbers are adjusted. Once I get down to about 5 to 6 hours, I realize I cannot force a slumber. I face facts. Anyway, here I sit and listen to the clocks. The cats are begging me to just come back to bed, crawl under the blankets, and wait for morning.

Thanksgiving 2009

In 1998 I moved over a thousand miles away from my family. I don’t think about how very far away my family is until the holidays are knocking on the back door of fall, and I face the reality of being what might as well be light years from any relative I knew as a child. This year was no different. As Isabella feasted with her dad a few miles away, I was faced with making the most of the day and set out for the gym. We are all free to “Give Thanks” in our own personal way, and this Thanksgiving, I realized that finding happiness and gratitude comes from within ourselves and from nowhere else. Izzy and I walked down the street on Thursday evening and shared a dinner with our friends and I was thankful for all the good that is in my life.

The day I found the story in Izzy's backpack

Every Friday, Isabella brings home a stack of completed, graded homework in her backpack. This consists of a smattering of math, science, reading….the basics…and religion. I found a story in her bag today that I felt compelled to share.

“Once upon a time there was a ghost named Black and he was a
funny ghost. He would do flips. He was really funny. But the problem
was he had no friends. He wished he did. He is very very sad.
But one day he made a friend. His name is Bob.”

The story was prefaced with a word-search in the shape of a pumpkin and the “hidden” words were to be used in the story.

When Izzy started school, I picked up a few file boxes from IKEA - pretty green and black polka-dotted boxes that are marked for her corresponding years in school. This is a little nugget that I will file after making copies for the relatives.

I turned 34 yesterday. The year I proclaimed “I am not having a birthday.” I looked back at being 33 and realized 1. I ran a marathon in 45 degree pouring rain. 2. Became a better mommy. 3. Paid my mortgage on time. 4. Got promoted. 5. Cried some and laughed more 6. Helped my daughter with her homework and tucked her into bed at night. 7. Made plans for the future. 8. Loved others. 9. Served others. 10. Made goals for another year. Birthdays aren’t so bad. I woke up and started my day, realizing over coffee, that I had to make the day a good day, and only I can do such a remarkable task. Every year is an improvement on the year before. The best is yet to come.

Highlights of 2009

Isabella’s 7th birthday party was supposed to be filled with fun at a park today. I woke to this morning to my phone blaring and her dad asking me on the other end of the line “Do you think Mother Nature will cooperate?” Huh? Wha? Really? It’s raining? Not only raining, but a cold fall breeze was in the air and if I pulled the pillow over my head and listened close enough, I heard the thunder. A dozen phones calls later, her party was a huge success but in the club house of her grandparents apartment complex, where the walls echoed and their squeals were louder. For most of the morning, 15 of Isabella’s closest friends came together to celebrate her birthday.

For the last 4 summers her birthday has been the start of another school year. Second grade….really? We have the new uniforms and the school supplies. I cannot seem to wrap my head around the fact that I will need to start packing lunches and before you know it, I will be turning on the heat and putting fall decorations in my front lawn. Our summer has been here and now gone and all I remember were a couple of hot days and several trips to the pool. Our lives are quieter now than they were last summer, which were days I never want to see again. We “cuddled” and read to each other, and laughed, and Isabella had her first pedicure. She grows and I cannot seem to stop her. Drum roll…the top ten highlights for the summer 2009... not necessarily in this order.

1. The Cottonwood Heights pool more times than I can count
2. Swim and tennis lessons – she learned to swim when I was not looking
3. Pedicure #1 – Just us girls
4. Staying up late (while eating ice cream) when we should have been going to bed
5. Pillow fights in the bedroom
6. Listening to Isabella learn to read, practically in a weekend, and not need my help much anymore.
7. Girl Scout camp at Camp Blue Cloud, where Isabella led the hike to all of us less experienced campers. We cannoed together, too. That is by far at the top of my list.
8. Watching Isabella get her face painted, and then much to my chagrin, helping her wash the paint off.
9. The Bell Canyon hike. Isabella tried to just slide down the mountain on her bottom....it's just easier that way.
10. Cowabunga Bay x2

So now I am a mom to a second grader and she amazes me more than I ever thought possible.